What is Sexual Compatibility? Are you and your Partner Sexually Compatible?
When you hear the word compatibility, what are the first thoughts that come to your mind? Emotional compatibility, mental compatibility or even spiritual compatibility? Well, while all of these are quite important when you are gauging your partner and your relationship, we kind of ignore sexual compatibility.
Truth be told, this is not exactly our fault. We have been brought up in a society where sex is still a “hush-hush”. Sex is mostly for procreation and at the most something meant to be enjoyed within the boundaries of holy matrimony. But the rules have largely changed. Haven’t they? Sex is now considered something that is meant to be enjoyed by both parties and marriage is not a hard and fast requirement.
But for sex to be really enjoyable to both, sexual compatibility becomes the key deciding factor and that is exactly what we will be talking about here
Let’s Talk about the Basics. What is Sexual Compatibility?
Well, like every kind of compatibility translates into being on the same page with your partner, sharing the same values with your partner….but this time sexually!
Okay to drop the jargon, it means having compatible sexual desires, kinks, fantasy….you get the gist.
But what essentially makes sexual compatibility a tad bit different from other kinds of compatibility is the inhibition to have a conversation around it. We mean c’mon, it is way easier to say that you value sensitivity and vulnerability in your partner than saying that you liked to be spanked in bed.
But this is exactly why the conversation around sexual compatibility is so crucial. We admit it or not but sex is a very crucial part of our lives and it can go a long way in making or breaking your relationship.
While love and sex can be closely intertwined, they exist as independent phenomena. Having love and respect for your partner can greatly enhance your sexual experience but cannot guarantee it. So it is important to acknowledge that sex can be independent of love and that having a great bond at an emotional level may not always translate into great sexual chemistry.
How to Know if I am Sexually Compatible with my Partner?
Have the Conversation
We can not underestimate the importance of having an honest and heart to heart conversation with your partner about what sex means for the both of you, what are your turn-ons, turn-offs, what are your boundaries your kinks, the list goes on.
Once you guys have that conversation you will be able to understand what you guys agree on and where you guys simply don't see eye To eye. Another reason to have this conversation is to ensure that whenever you guys are doing the deed you respect each other's boundaries and don't do anything that will make your partner uncomfortable. Because at the end of the day no matter how kinky or dirty you want to get with each other, respect and consent remains the cornerstone of any healthy sexual relationship.
Well, Next up Comes Doing the Deed
Having that conversation is so important at the end of the day you get down and dirty. Right? Do you guys genuinely want what you discussed? Are you open to trying new things? Above all, do you both look forward to having sex with each other? If yes, then congratulations, you guys are sexually compatible.
What if my Partner and I are not Sexually Compatible
Well, that is surely not the end of the world. Sex can pretty much be an acquired taste. You might end up enjoying things that you couldn't even dream of earlier. If you feel you and your partner are not sexually compatible, there are a few things you can try to change that equation.
Embrace your Sexuality
A lot of us have been brought learning to not enjoy sex. to see sex simply as something that needs to be done to make kids. but as most of us know the truth could be further from that sex can be a pretty fun activity if done correctly. So before even thinking of having sex with your partner embrace your sexuality and understand that it's completely normal to enjoy sex.
Be Open to Trying New Things
This might be hard for some but it is important to be open to trying new things. Sometimes we do have certain preconceived notions that prevent us from exploring new avenues.
Let's say you are a successful businesswoman who is killing it in the professional Space. And you think you need to be that dominant and in control in the bedroom too so, the idea of being a submissive might seem an absolute no-no for you. But what if you give it a try.
The feeling of giving up control can be quite euphoric and you might end up loving it. Don't be afraid of bringing in toys, lubricants, and stimulants into the bedroom as well. Trust us, you will be thanking us later.
Well, even after a lot of trying exploring and experimenting, if you guys feel that you are not meant to be, sexually at least, then maybe it's better to get help. Many experienced therapists and sexologists might be able to give you the right amount of hand-holding that you require.
At the risk of repeating ourselves, we would like to remind you that sexual compatibility goes a long way in determining how healthy your relationship is. So don’t shy away from having that conversation and exploring new things.