How to Try BDSM as a Beginner: The Ultimate Guide

Table of Content

• What Is BDSM Sex, Anyway?
• How does BDSM Sex Affect your Relationship?
• BDSM Ideas & Tips for Beginners

          1. Bondage and Discipline
          2. Dominance and Submission
          3. Sadism and Masochism

• The Key Takeaway: Importance of Consent & Safe Words

What Is BDSM Sex, Anyway?

BDSM (abbreviation for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism) refers to sex behaviours such as dominance, submission, and control. During sex, one partner usually takes a more dominant role, while the other is more submissive.

So long as people involved in the action are consenting participants and it does not interfere with other elements of life, the power play is deemed completely safe and healthy because it's a 'power exchange,' play that should be mutually agreeable, safe, and rational.

There's no need to be afraid that you're new to BDSM; you can make the experience anything you want because BDSM is a broad phrase encompassing a wide range of sexual interactions.

Keep in mind that there's no need to hurry into your own "Red Room of Pain" like in Fifty Shades of Grey. To begin, you can try to blindfold yourself and have your spouse tickle you with a feather or lightly rub your skin with a whipper. "Move towards slightly racier bondage play, such as locking wrists with a silk tie or handcuffs, a massage candle being spilt on your skin, or exploring the sensation of fun spanking." That's how you can safely build up the heat in your bedroom.

How does BDSM Sex Affect your Relationship?

In a relationship, BDSM sex can be satisfying for both partners. Many people who participate in BDSM perceive it as a way to let off steam, test their trust, or act out fantasies of submission, vulnerability, and domination.

Here's what it feels like to be in a BDSM relationship: 

• Usually, one partner will play the dominant position in a relationship, while the other will be submissive. 
• A "switch" is someone who switches back and forth between dominating and submissive roles depending on the partner and the situation. 
• A top/bottom dynamic is used to describe the dominant and the submissive relationship. 
• While the dominant partner or top usually takes charge in spanking, bonding, whipping, or other sexual situations, the submissive can maintain control by insisting on the top-performing particular duties or switching roles.

According to a medical study, participating in a BDSM dynamic alleviated stress and boosted happiness. Also, participating in healthy BDSM scenes was proven to increase intimacy and enhance therapeutic benefits between partners in other studies.

BDSM Ideas & Tips for Beginners

The abbreviation BDSM can be classified into the following groups. Let's take a closer look at each section of the BDSM.

 Bondage and Discipline

 

When you bind each other up, it's called bondage. As previously said, light handcuffs are ideal for starting bondage. 

When combined with an under-the-bed bondage restraint system, cuffs become even more adaptable, allowing you to transform your bedroom into a bondage fantasyland. 

Bondage can also be done with blindfolds, and a gag can be used to bind a partner's mouth and prevent him from speaking. 

Silicone ball gags are an excellent place to start, and you should start with a smaller one. If a gag is little, it will usually be labelled "beginner's." 

This acronym's term discipline refers to both physical and mental discipline. For example, in terms of BDSM for beginners, it could mean:

• Spanking with a hand is a form of physical punishment.
• Flogging with a multi-tailed flogger – fur, suede, or silicone are all options.
• Whipping with a single tail.
• Using a paddle — paddles have cushy sides to help relieve pain.
• Restricting your partner's access to your or his own body.
• Denial or prolongation of orgasm (edging is a lot of fun!).
• Pinching or biting your man in a playful manner.

Of course, you are the one who knows your partner best, so you know what kind of punishment would be acceptable. You'll indeed receive a raise if he's into it!

 Dominance and Submission

The act of demonstrating physical dominance over a physical partner, whether during sex or outside of it, is termed dominance. 

When you're dominating your spouse, you have entire control over their wellbeing; yet, this authority comes with several responsibilities, like knowing your partner's boundaries, getting familiar with your sex tools, being prepared with safety supplies, and checking in with your partner during and after intercourse. 

Dominance demands enhanced blood circulation around genitals and flaming desire, so get your hands on our natural stimulant and lube for a raging BDSM scene - Imbue Firefly's Natural Lubricant and Stimulant. 

In contrast, the act of submitting to the actions and wishes of the dominating partner is submission. You'll discover a whole new world of kinky, incredible sex when you learn how to be submissive during sex. Remember that being submissive and exchanging power is a two-way street, requiring you to have a dirty and detailed chat with your man about it.

It's best to discuss it with him ahead of time rather than in the heat of the moment. Switching from conventional sex to sex with BDSM can be difficult or unpleasant. Discussing it ahead might also help you figure out what you're comfortable doing and what you're not.

 Sadism and Masochism

A masochist is a person who enjoys being sexually hurt. However, there is a difference between "bad" and "good" pain. It's never fun to stub your toe, yet being spanked, scratched with nails, or squeezed can be fun. And all of this may be done at various levels of difficulty. 

Beginner masochists can enjoy being torched with hot chocolate, hot wax, hot oils, and freezing ice cubes. 

On the other hand, there's the sadist, who takes pleasure in seeing her partner "suffer" due to the extreme stimulation. They are someone who gets sexual enjoyment or is sexually aroused by inflicting pain, cruelty, or humiliation of their partner.

The Key Takeaway: Importance of Consent & Safe Words

Sounds crazy?....that's right, the concept of BDSM will come across as a little strange and crazy to beginners. 

Many people are concerned that even the BDSM for beginners will be too painful to enjoy. They don't comprehend why somebody would want to injure someone they care about. But the reality is that hitting the pleasure points can not be the same way for all humans. So, different people have different ways to address their sexual preferences, and that's normal... only when both partners have agreed upon mutual consent.

Thus, the act of consent is the most fundamental aspect of BDSM intercourse. Partners should always ensure that everyone consents enthusiastically and establishes clear boundaries.

It's also crucial to provide a safe word because some BDSM situations are pretty intense. If one partner is unhappy with any aspect of the experience, they can stop the current act — or the intercourse entirely.

Finally, educate yourself about the concept thoroughly and engage in what is referred to as BDSM aftercare. After a wild scene, couples can take care of one another by hugging, hydrating, bathing together, or engaging in another calming activity. 

It could also contain a discussion of what worked and what didn't and how each partner feels. This post-sex debriefing can aid in all participants' physical, mental, and emotional safety.